EBP, my 10th grade clan, broke up abruptly. On the last day of the year Nob’s mother, our main buyer, purchased us a keg of Lowenbrau. I think that was the only keg we scored that year. We usually ended up with “party balls.” Anyway, a few of us stayed up that night trying to put a dent in the keg. The rest of the troops were scheduled to trickle in the next day.
The next morning we were wasted and friends started to trickle in. We had to make a Safeway run in order to get cups. On our way out of Safeway one of the employees shouted, “you forgot your keys.” I turned to watch him toss them on to the floor, down the aisle, and into my hands. I gladly accepted them.
In the parking lot I searched for the Ford automobile. One of the keys said Festiva and there weren’t many cars in the lot. Within no time I was racing around the parking lot. I don’t think I even had a drivers permit at this time. After I got my fix I parked the car and left the keys on the dash. That would be my one and only official joy ride.
Back at the house the drink was back on. We drank and drank and drank. It was still early in the morning. It was before noon, and not even the whole tribe had shown up, before I passed out face down in the back yard.
Shortly after I woke up I had to go pee. I did my business and then looked in the mirror. My eyebrow was gone. Somebody had also gotten to one of my armpits. My shock turned to rage. I went on a man hunt. I was throwing blows right and left. “Who did it,” i yelled. Finally Henan fessed up. Turns out it was He and Scho’s older brother. Scho’s older brother had left the party so all my rage was focused on Henan. We wrestled around and eventually smashed into a large glass window. At some point someone tried to knock me out with a large piece of wood by hitting me on the head from behind. Finally, the fight was broken up.
I ended up in a bedroom, laying on a bed. I was balling and one of my friends was trying to counsel me. Nob’s mom walked in, accompanied by Nob and some other members of the clan. She told me to chill out and I called her a bitch. Nob then jumped through the air an landed a good one on me. At that point my mother was called to pick me up. Soon after that I was escorted out of the house by my mom. I cried and yelled at my friends.
Back at home I dropped like a rock. When I awoke it was night time and everybody was asleep. My rage kicked back in. I grabbed an ax handle, my mom’s keys, and pushed my mom’s car part way down the street. Once I was far enough away from my parents ears I started up the car and b-lined it straight back to Nob’s house. Luckily my sister saw me from the other side of the street on her way home.
Back at Nob’s I searched for a way into the house. I got into the back yard and tried to open the sliding glass door. I was having no luck, or “good” luck I could say, when my dad showed up. He found me laying in the side yard of Nob’s house with an ax handle in my hand.
Yes, EBP broke up that day. I was the leader, and what turned out to be the glue. Some of the guys started a new gang, some stayed friends with me, and in the following year I was absorbed into a new group as well. The black eye went away, the armpit hair grew back, and I eventually appreciated the lack of eyebrow. I recall going golfing with a snazzy, blue-curled, drawn on eyebrow, later that month…
