It was getting close to New Years eve, and I had recently flown from Seattle to SF to enjoy it with some friends. The plan was to start our night around the Union Square area. Before heading to the square we spent some time pre-gaming at our hotel room(s). I don’t recall much of what we put in our systems, but i’m sure we left the hotel “buzzin’.”
When we got to the square we found it blocked off. The Square was relatively crowded, and there were police officers blocking the entrance(s). We were bummed to find ourselves locked out.
After getting rejected at the gate I began to look for an alternate way into the square. I noticed a path through some bushes, and snuck right through. Immediately after I made it through the bushes an officer walked up to me and asked, “are you staying in, or are you staying out?” I replied, “I’m staying in.” Within a matter of seconds I turned and saw Shush “galloping” through the bushes. However, he got caught, and got me caught too.
I watched an officer grab Shush, and as I was watching a cop “slammed” me in my back. I tried to turn, only to feel another blow to my back. I turned again, same thing. Finally I turned around to watch the cops fist crunch against my face. Within no time I was being beaten by a mob of cops. Someone from the crowd shouted, “don’t do him like Rodney King!” My friends Heanan and Scho, who somehow made it in, tried to help. They were both thrown face down into the cement. I recall Scho oozing blood from his forehead. We were all thrown into the “paddy wagon.”
The paddy wagon was pretty much empty, with the exception of one or two guys. The problem that would help us and haunt us was that the cops were intending to fill it up. Shortly after settling into the pitch black truck I realized that I had a large “Bud” in my pants pocket. This problem took some teamwork to resolve. I turned back to back with Henan and Henan got the bag out of my pocket. He then turned back to back with Scho and Scho pulled the bud out of the bag, and passed it into Henan’s fingers. Then Henan turned his back to me in order for me to squat down and eat the bud out of his fingers.
About another 45 minutes passed by and we still hadn’t left for the station. We had gained a couple new “troops,” and Henan had to pee really bad. He was about to let it go when his vocal tone turned serious and he asked, “Phillips, will you pull it out?” It was reverse of the bud removal process only Henan wasn’t feeding me bud with his fingers, I was struggling to get Henan’s penis into mine. Sure enough he peed on the floor.
Back at the station we went through the usual process, “bend over, squat down, lift up your balls, spread your ass cheeks, cough three times,” etc. We were then placed in a holding tank. I remember one of the inmates looking for a light for the joint that he pulled out the side door of his shoe. The only one not to get bailed out before processing was Henan. After I got bailed out I sat with his mother and reassured her that we had not broken a law. We were all let off with diversions. The law agreed to let us off with our one “get out of jail free pass,” as long as we promised not to file a civil suit. Go Figure.
